The page of no


That was cathartic. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What the actual.....?

Have you ever felt like your life is an Eastenders storyline? That's where I am right now. On the 29th September 2021, the 10th anniversary of my first born's funeral, my husband passsed away. Fabulous timing my love; way to make a horrible month even harder.  So now I find myself 6 weeks in, the funeral is done (which, by the way, I pride myself on being the best I could have done for him) and life, for everyone else, has returned to normal whilst life for Oliver and I will never be the same again. Our lives are shattered.  As you will know (or if not, will now have learned) I'm no stranger to grief. I know all too well what to expect and it terrifies me.  I'm not allowing myself to go there yet because I have a little boy to look after and I simply cannot fall apart. I know that once I start to cry I won't stop for a very long time. So instead of facing grief head on I'm trying to do what Mark would have done and putting it in a box.  Trouble is it keeps lifti...
Read more

Too much, too soon?

Riding on the high of yesterday I thought I was on a roll. I put together a meal plan for the next few days, curated a shopping list including Christmas gifts for the family and headed off into town to buy it all.  The plan was to get Christmas boxed off in November so I don't have to be out there amongst all the December crazies when I'm likely to be going a different kind of crazy myself.   " I'm doing welI" I thought, so proud of myself. " Get me, out and about in town like a normal grown up person with my to do list and everything ."  I really shouldn't have glossed over the parking in the wrong car park for a start thing, that was a clear warning my head was not doing so well as I wanted to believe. Anyhoo, I moved the car then off I toddled to get everything I needed. A few shops and I'd be done.  Easy. By the time I got to Tesco I was struggling. I did it, but boy was it hard. I wasn't expecting it to be so hard. People.... noise... ...
Read more

Weekend rollercoasters

Tears and meltdowns. And not from the 5 year old. I sit sobbing on his bedroom floor because I can't fix the bloody mousetrap board.    "I know why you've got sad mummy....Look at this picture of the water log slide. Remember when daddy went on the log slide? It was sooo funny, it made a huge splash!"   How did he become the adult and me the child needing comfort?
Read more